Fun with Solicitors Part I

As Loan Officers, we get solicited pretty regularly by various companies via email and phone.  Normally said overtures are for the purchase of customer leads but sometimes they can go as far astray as “enhancement” pills, Russian Brides or even how to have an affair.  I kid you not.

I’ve been approached by one particular solicitor many times over the years.  Here is our exchange:


I am looking for an loan officer in your local area to pair up with a agent and work with home buyers we have looking to purchase. We are only looking for ONE agent and ender per county. We do not put any agents in competition with each other, or split our buyers between companies.  Buyers are coming to our site because we market all of the national and bank foreclosures for free. Because we only need one lender for the county, we fill the area on a first come first serve basis. If this is something you believe you could help me with, please contact me as soon as possible.

Dear honored representative of US HUD:

I called US HUD back earlier and am excited to start getting paid by US HUD!  When do the checks start rolling in?  If we can negotiate a giant base salary with all kinds of crazy benefits (like going to the movies with Brittney Spears) I will be glad to be your lender for Clackamas!

Finally, someone is going to pay me to represent them.   This is so great!

I am glad you are only looking for only one person.  Maybe I should dream even bigger.  Would a private jet be appropriate?  That would be great!   No wonder you can only have one representative in my area – I can’t imagine you can afford to pay these sort of perks to many people!

Finally, all of your phone calls are paying off and our wildest dreams can come true!!

This is the answer to my prayers – baby needs new shoes!

I can’t wait for the first briefcase full of money to arrive.  I’m typically really busy during the week but I’ll definitely take a run out to meet with one of your representatives to get my first boatload full of cash!









Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s