We’ve all tuned into those dog training programs where a smartly dressed English lady has every breed of dog imaginable eating out of the palm of her hand. “Stay” she says and the dog freezes. She could probably tell the dog to stop breathing and it would. She then smiles at the camera (normally through a small sea of shipwrecked teeth) and calmly explains, in a delightful accent, how dogs are gullible creatures that just need a little coaxing. And love. And biscuits. I’m glad she’s not evil – she could probably get a pack of well-trained canines to stick up a local bank and bring her the loot without being caught.
My experience when asking my dog to stay is somewhat different. First, she looks at me as if I am once again doing something insanely funny for the sole purpose of amusing her. She then chases her tail, runs at full speed into something (smashing it to bits in the process) or she just plops down with the expectation a never-ending tummy rub will ensue. Even when I ask in my best delightful English accent the results are similar.
On Friday of last week, we Loan Officers across the land woke up to a new set of rules handed down by the Federal Reserve. Or so we thought. Against all odds, our lobby groups were able to obtain a stay on new loan officer compensation rules. Our lives would remain intact for the time being. The question I asked myself at the time was how long would the stay remain and whether the experience would be similar to what goes on with my dog.
Somewhat predictably, the stay was not permanent and late yesterday afternoon the stay was lifted. Even as I write this I imagine Ben Bernanke running wildly around the office of the Federal Reserve, foam dripping from his mouth, random objects being broken, flattened and destroyed. He looks at us loan officers as if we were crazy. Did we really think the stay would be permanent? And then something truly astonishing happens: he drops to the floor, splayed limbs everywhere, and somewhere amidst his expensive suit and silk tie looks up at us with a silly doggy grin, just begging for a belly rub.
At the back of my mind I can’t help wondering if maybe the stay would have been permanent had it been asked for by an experienced and knowledgable dog trainer. With an English accent of course.